Let’s face it: For us carnivores, we want our meat to look like meat.

It must be brown to be appetizing. Even brown-ish will. But any other color is a pretty tough sell when expecting the flavor and hue to match.  Bottom line: If you present me with a serving plate of cabbage jammed full of a warm substance that’s the color of faded stucco, I’m going to bolt from the table faster than a Vegan at a rib joint.

The early 1970s were considered a paradise for those looking for “Jiffy” or convenience meat dishes.  We’ve seen the trend in alarming color when confronted by Meatza.  Family Circle released this entry into the spoonable meat category in 1971, when they published the “Great Ground-Beef Recipes” book. I will admit that it has some good recipes and ideas. Since I’m a meat eater a lot of it looks good. But flipping through the pages will expose an occasional picture so vile and unnatural that even the biggest Elvis impersonator convention won’t clear the vision from behind my eyes. Tragically, with this one, I’m left with more than just a visual; when I look at the photo above, I feel the warm rubbery consistency of Steamed Gelatin Meat on my tongue as it slides towards the throat in an almost gravitational path to the stomach. Describing that was a best appetite suppressant ever.

The dish is described like this in the book:

This new look way with ground beef is Danish-inspired Stuffed Cabbage Crown. Beef is seasoned and stuffed into a hollowed out jumbo cabbage, then steamed. Cut in wedges for serving, and top with gravy.

Well at least the gravy part is on the right path. By the way, I used a search engine to locate pictures of “Danish Stuffed Cabbage” and didn’t find much. I found stuffed leaves and Danish Red Cabbage, but like nothing above – which is a massive plant injected with seasoned tan extrude-beef. I’m sure Danish Stuffed Cabbage exists in some measure outside the marketing office which wrote the above plug.

And don’t forget that you can fry up the leftover wedges in a pan. In oil. Downed with Chianti.

Of course now the challenge is to make this in a way that it looks as palatable as Family Circle wants it to be! It you do it, I’ll post it

Photo and recipe ©1971 Family Circle Great Ground-Beef Recipes; All rights reserved by publisher and are posted here for entertainment purposes only.